When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
