what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
