I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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