You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
