help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this just has baby written all over it
Come see our sink grown plant.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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