she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
