Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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