Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
