remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
