I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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