all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
