Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
