So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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