That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
