I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i believe in u and ur pee
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
