Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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