I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
