so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
