I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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