i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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