She said her name was "party"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
