Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
