i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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