brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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