even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
