somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
