I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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