woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
