Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i will never coherently bang her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
