I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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