hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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