the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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