Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
