just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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