He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
