Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
