So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
