Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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