During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
