I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
