after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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