Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
