she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
