It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
