ADVERTISEMENT

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

  Fav 2 4774 1006

  share tweet
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend

  (301): View more from Maryland

  1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps

  Fav 29 4122 1092

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

  Fav 3 3570 1057

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

  Fav 23 973 4870

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.

  Fav 15 7437 1460

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?

  Fav 15 4096 1085

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.

  Fav 6 3099 1070

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that actually explains a lot

  Fav 3 1859 779

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

  Fav 4 1965 680

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.

  (315): View more from New York

  How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??

  Fav 3 2233 1083

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

  Fav 10 778 1347

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

  Fav 3 1429 601

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

  Fav 2 854 468

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story

  Fav 4 457 827

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it

  Fav 1 54 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize