trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
