3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
