dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
