I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
