I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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