I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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