My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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