He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You ate ashes out of my bong
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize