I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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