I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
