No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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