Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
