I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
