you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
