woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
