I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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