it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize