i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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