yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Randomize
