I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize