lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
