He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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