Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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