Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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